Sometimes I think the reason I don't post here any more is because I'm recovering. Sometimes I can't bear to examine anything. I'd rather just let things go, let one day do its work and get it over with.
Some days, like the last three weeks, I think I should see a shrink. Or acknowledge that I have never, not even during my divorce, been closer to a mental breakdown. No, perhaps that's not right: there was that one time six year ago when I woke up in the morning and started to cry and couldn't stop and a friend who found I wasn't taking any calls left work early to come and straighten me out.
So this is why I don't post here any more. At least, this is my reason today. Nothing I think makes any sense. Saying it aloud doesn't impose any sense. Things just go round and round in my head and it's a big enough effort to go through each day as if everything were normal.
I really just want to lie low and hope that nothing and no one will know I'm there and some day I can find I've got off the seesaw for good.
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4 comments:
SB: And to think kids fight to get on a damn seesaw.
This is the perfect time of the year to lay low and I hope you enjoy your time away from the blogs.
You probably don't need advice but ... see a shrink if you know someone good. The other way takes a huge toll. But ...
Coming here after ages. I hope the Chennai trip got you off the seesaw.
Take care. Sometimes a shrink does help, or even a dispassionate listener. My sister-in-law still sees her grief counsellor, nearly three years after my brother's death.
Less often than before, but she still goes to her when she has to.
We don't have such people here that I know of, sadly.
I hope that one day it won't hurt quite as much. Take care.
just. hug.
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