driving tips

I am the champion of driving while crying. I know. I've been doing it for years and I haven't had an accident yet. Which is not to say it won't happen, but there's a skill to it and I have it all figured out.

First, keep tissues handy. If no tissues are to hand, be prepared to use your sleeve or anything else that's available. If you wear specs, try not to blink. You're likely to transfer the tears from your lashes to the glass and you won't be able to see. Practice driving with your specs off. You might not see very much, but then you won't see much through tears anyway. At traffic lights, feel free to shed more copious tears than while moving. Merely as a matter of observation, notice how those around you respond. Beggars will move away, cyclists and motorcyclists will avoid squeezing in through the narrow gap between your car and the next one. Nobody will honk. You are allowed to take your time when you least want more of it.

While moving, make good use of your nails to remind yourself that what you are doing is not a good idea. You would avoid it if you could, so show that you're doing what you can.

Learn your way around. Lose your way. It doesn't matter. Drive in the slow lane. Stop. Notice how it doesn't help, because just as the tears stop when you do, so do they start again when the car does. Distract yourself for a while with the connection between tear ducts and ignitions. Smile. Watch pedestrians give you curious glances. Look at yourself in the mirror.

Angle the side view mirror so you can see yourself. Remind yourself of how difficult it is to really laugh while looking at your reflection and hope the tactic works in this situation. When it does, allow yourself some self-pity for how changeable you are, how easily distracted.

Cry. Drive. Repeat.